[7] my cocoon

MY COCOON: I have gone through and am currently still going through quite a bit of change in my life.  I'm questioning who, what, when, where, why, and how ...  what am I willing to do, how far am I willing to go, at what expense/investment, and for what result?  Right now, it feels like I am nearing the closing finale to my 4 year stay in my cocoon - and I am doing the final revision putting on the finishing touches to me.  I am refining and working to fine tune the person I am.  Post cocoon?  I will come out knowing and liking the person I am, or rather, pretty darn close to whatever that answer is at the end.  It's probably always going to be a work in progress...  Read rest of the story here.

~Arry 
P.S. I've started a new site (www.arryinseattle.com) where all my posts will be going.  I will selectively post some of them here as well in the meantime. 

[6] marathon

The world of startups and the world of love have so much in common, and I'm starting to realize that it comes down to two main things:

1) the world of startups + the world of love are based on the foundational pillar of Faith.  Faith is the main pillar.  Without it, everything else is nothing.  It's a must.  Faith in the dream, in the past/present/future, in each other.  Assure your partner (whether it's business or love) with your words and behavior that s/he can have complete faith in you.  Be open - whatever you do, do it openly and honestly.  Don't play games.  Don't do it.  Look out for anything that'll weaken this pillar - kill any inkling or tiny bit of suspicion early and quickly. 

2) the world of startups + the world of love is like a marathon.  Assuming you've got Faith as a pillar that you are actively maintaining and growing - then it's about the marathon.  Pace.  Breathing.  Stretching.  Training.  Growing.  Working.  Persevering.  It takes diligence, hard work, and a common vision.  If you've ever run long distances before, you'll totally get what I mean.  Undeniable, unwavering focus.


Yours,
Arry

[5] a lack of color

I am a ball of stress lately - and I'm probably not my best when under this much stress.  Taking a time out to calm and collect myself; tune into who I am again; ... slow down.  [Actually, side story - my younger brother stepped in tonight and asked me, "how are you feeling"?  -- This is a good question to ask your loved one every once awhile, we women appreciate it.  He listened and then he went into the manly problem solving mode - and then he went into the manly protector mode - ... and then he came back to me and gave me his honest thoughts.  He calmed me down.  I'm quite impressed - my little brother is acting like my big brother.]

Anyways - perspective.  When things get out of control - take a time out.  Thought this song was a nice one to listen to... so I thought I'd share it with you.

Good night,
Arry

[4] like a marriage proposal?

Marriage to Me:
I totally want to be married some day - to the right man - who is honorable, respectable, and respectful.  I hope he sees me as honorable, respectable, and respectful, too.  In searching for Mr. Right - I'm super careful about who I will sign on with to be my lifetime partner.  Is he good to his family?  Is he thoughtful?  Does he open doors and have good manners?  Is he strong willed and independent?  Is he caring and does he ask me how I am?  Is he dependable?  Is he secure with himself?  Does he want kids?  Does he smell good?  :)  ... I'm so excited to enter that chapter of my life some day - totally looking forward to it.


Choosing a Business Partner(s):
When choosing a partner to go into business with - it should be taken with the same kind of gravity and seriousness as a marriage proposal.  I've literally been proposed to more than three times in the past few weeks - to go into business with people I know (flattering, really - but it's made me really think a lot about this lately).  When asked, I literally think in my head (and sometimes, my inside voice comes out and I literally say it aloud): "are you proposing to me?"  Going into business with someone is very much like marriage (minus the feelings of the romantic love and tingling excitement down my spine when I see my boyfriend/husband - for me, that's reserved for the relationship-kind-of-a-marriage. Lots of hearts and warm fuzzies spinning above my head). 

My Current Partners:
I look at my business partners today and we've had our ups and downs.  We fight sometimes, we get frustrated, we have fun, we miss each other, ...  and at the end of the day no matter what, I see them as honorable, respectable, and respectful people.  We've signed up to be partners in the business sense - and in the human-person sense.  I trust that their intentions are good for the team and our investment - you can't do it any other way.  Consider your current and potential business partners very seriously - it's serious business, like a marriage.

I welcome your comments and feedback,
~Arry

which one are you?

So which one are you?  I find that in general, most people fall into one of these four categories (Pardonez moi... I'm a big "J" as an ENTJ - things need to be put into buckets.) 

I: Don't Care + Unaware = dangerous, living in their own world of bubbles and themselves.  I have trouble taking them seriously.  Another name for these folks is "waste of space".  Stop breathing my air.

II: Care + Unaware = well intentioned with terrible (or less than good) execution.  You can't help but love them.  Endearing.

III: Care + Aware = empathetic to the world around them and moved to do something to add value.  Big hearts.  Doing something about it (it can be the problem, a project, challenge, life, whatever it is).

IV: Don't Care + Aware = pure selfish.  Will cut you off on the road, keep you waiting when your appointment was half an hour ago, the world revolves around them.  Ego issues.  I don't think we can be friends.

~Arry

welcome to our new teammate, AJ!

Mina and I would like to welcome the newest member to our All Things Wishful team - AJ!  AJ is a super-cool-awesome-ninja who has run his own consulting technology business for the past several years and is the Flash master.  He's got jedi skills - mad skillz.  :)  He's also quite the foodie as he's introduced us to some delicious team lunches.  AJ will be contributing to the All Things Wishful blog writing about the world of cool technologies. 

We are so excited to have AJ join the team.

Yippee,

Arry and Mina

controlled growth

One of the greatest perks of my day job is that I get to meet all kinds of entrepreneurs, investors and VCs in the Seattle community.  Many of these meetings lead to "Aha" moments where I furiously write mental notes regarding what to do or avoid doing in a business.  A recent meeting I had was with a woman entrepreneur who instantly became my hero because not only did she grow the revenues of her business by 50 times in 10 years (from $500,000 when she bought half of the company for $15,000 to $20,000,000 now), she did all of this while working part-time (so she could spend time with her family).  How cool is that?

Her secret?  Controlled growth.  As she showed us the graph of the revenues of her companies, rather than the hockey stick that all entrepreneurs seem to hope for, hers was more like a very deep staircase -- upward movement followed by a period of flatness, followed by upward movement.  The periods of flatness are the times that she deliberately did not take new customers so that she could focus on making improvements in operations and in building up her cash supply (yes, she agrees that cash is king).  As a B2B business serving large corporate clients, part of her controlled growth strategy was to diversify her portfolio of clients so that no one business would become an 800-pound gorilla with the power the make demands that are not in line with what is best for the company.

One company that comes to mind when considering what can happen when a company grows too fast is homegrocer.com, the enormously well capitalized company from the 1990s that is now used as an example of a most spectacular failure in every business school.  OK, so homegrocer might have had a few other things going against it, but trying to grow too fast -- before it had figured out how it is going to operate, who its customers are, and the checks and balances of financial statements -- was definitely a major factor.

So grow, but be smart about it.

Mina

woman quits her job to take break and find a husband

Perspective, perspective, perspective.  Again... the question comes to: are you a career woman or a woman-with-a-career?  What are your priorities?  If you have to make choices - what is more important to you?  Can you be a career woman AND have it all?  Do you want children and a family?  What do you think? Do women need a man? Is Julia Yarbough crazy? Did she wait too long to try to find a husband? Is this her due "punishment" for putting career first?

We hope the best for you, Julia - We hope you are doing well and think it's great to take the time to take care of yourself.  Personally I don't believe in chasing men - but taking the approach in taking a breather, giving yourself space to be introspective - and giving a good man the opportunity to come into your life and find you - that works.  (The full story, here.)

~Arry

[2b] why are you doing all this, part ii

As I was giving my schpeel a couple days ago to this great community organization that helps at-risk youth, Community for Youth (http://www.communityforyouth.org/) by providing dedicated adult mentors to the kids - another reason came up that I wanted to share.

2b. We're less connected than before [continuation of 'Connecting Hearts' from my April 11, 2010 post]
With all the tools we have out there to connect us more: pda's, cell phones, text messaging, emailing devices, twitter, facebook, myspace... and the amount of time we spend physically alone in our individual cars, apartments, and cubicles...  we're less connected than we were 50 years ago, 100 years ago.  Human beings are social beings - we were meant to talk face-to-face, to touch and hug, to be social.  Now with all this technology - I can work anytime, any where... all the time.  Even now... past midnight, I'm sitting here writting on a blogger...

I'm tired.  Tomorrow I'll get up, check my email in the morning.  Walk my darling fuzzy dog, Mochi in the morning.  Play a few rounds of fetch.  Feed her.  Hug her.  Love her. Get in my car and drive my self to work where I'll set up camp at a contractor's station and sit behind a laptop all day long at my client site.  I'll have a couple meetings here and there.  I'll drive my self back home.  I'll walk my dog again.  Play more rounds of fetch with her.  Feed her.  Hug her.  Love her.  Get behind the computer again...  I'm still tired.  I'll text and facebook friends inbetween in an attempt to share some love.  It's just not the same as a real live in-person meaningful hug.  It just isn't.

So that's another reason for you.  Real hugs are better than virtual ones.  Wish my fuzzy dog would wake up and give me a damn hug right now...

Good night,
Arry

[3] ... ever have someone say to you, you're too nice?

Ever have someone tell you you're too nice to them? It doesn't matter if you were being "too nice" to a boy, to a girl, to a man, to a woman, to a friend.  Ever have someone say they don't deserve your love?  Has it happened to you? 

If so - run.  Run far away in the opposite direction of the person that just said it.  If it's happened to you recently, ...  run!  That's a big [big, big] red flag - and it usually means, that recipient of your niceness and love doesn't deserve it.  A girlfriend whom I met on the eve of 2007 told me this one time as we were sitting on the floor of my living room chit-chatting away about life and love.  She said, "You know what I dislike the most, Arry?  I really dislike it when someone says You're too nice."  ...  and her words hit me hard.  It was like someone took a gong and slammed my heart against it.  I used to hear those words often.  You're too nice.  What in the word - I'm too nice!?!?!???  Why can't a person just be kind, nice, loving just because?  Ah... well, experience...

Because the undeserving person will take advantage of you.  I heard these words again in the past year - and against my better judgement I stuck around a little way too long.  It means I have to be careful of who I spend my time with, with whom I open my heart to and allow in, ...  but the idealistic romantic in me wishes I didn't have to be so careful... and that the deserving one will appreciate my gifts to them.

What do you think?

Good night,

Arry