Wednesday, March 24, 2010

a quick hello from new york city


A quick hello from the Big Apple, New York City.  Mina and I have escaped to catch up on Broadway musicals, eat fabulous meals, hang out with our beloved family and friends - and bond over our next steps together on our journey together with MAG and All Things Wishful.

On a side note - tonight, we had an awesome awesome awesome dinner today at Babbo in the village.  So delicious.  Octopus, lamb tongue, wild boar ragu, beef cheeks, asparagus with duck egg, ... Yes, I am going to write a happy Yelp review on it when I get a chance.  No doubt.  We got to catch up with our dear friend Matias to boot.  I'm still so full (5 hours later)... I can't lay down to sleep!

So... expect some news coming up in the next week... and more in the next couple of months... oh boy oh boy, there's more coming your way!!!  My goodness, I really heart my bff Mina.  It's crazy how we met (see first blog post)...  things really do happen for a reason.  I'm feeling very blessed and thankful.

Good night,
~Arry

Monday, March 22, 2010

the true nature of a heart is seen in its response to the unattractive

Read this love story recently and wanted to share it with you. Love means something very real to me, more than words can explain.  I have not and will not let love become spoiled from those who were careless in how they handled my heart.  (Neither should you).  To me, love is best taught though a person's actions - in this story, the act of loving without having seen a person's face.  Isn't this what the word faith is all about?

John fell in love with a woman.  He stood by his love and owned it all the way through.


John Blanchard stood up from the bench, straightened his Army uniform, and studied the crowd of people making their way through Grand Central Station. He looked for the girl whose heart he knew, but whose face he didn't, the girl with the rose.

His interest in her had begun thirteen months before in a Florida library. Taking a book off the shelf he found himself intrigued, not with the words of the book, but with the notes penciled in the margin. The soft handwriting reflected a thoughtful soul and insightful mind. In the front of the book, he discovered the previous owner's name, Miss Hollis Maynell. With time and effort he located her address. She lived in New York City. He wrote her a letter introducing himself and ... [Read the rest of the story here]

"Tell me whom you love," Houssaye wrote, "And I will tell you who you are..."

~*~*~

Bring it! and then, ... Own it!
-- Arry

Sunday, March 21, 2010

what's in rubberbands and ropes?

Ah, ... so I mentioned rubberbands and theories a few posts ago.  I've been pondering this a bit over the past couple years, and more recently, the past couple weeks.  Conclusion.  Yes, I believe them. 

Rubberband Theory:
So this was the invention of John Gray, author of Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus.  Awesome and worthwhile read if you haven't read it yet.  Synopsis: the rubberband theory refers to the male intimacy cycle.  Men lose themselves when he has been deeply intimate with a woman for an extended period of time - in pulling away and going into a "cave" (figuratively), it's a way for him to find himself again.  Gray says, "Pulling away gives him time to reestablish his personal boundaries and fulfill his need to feel independent."  So that's the rubber band theory. 

Advice for the woman who has a partner in "cave" mode:
  1. Don't chase, pull, force it, demand from him.  Give him space. 
  2. Trust in your man, your relationship.  Rubberband stretches away - and rubberband will bounce back to you stronger than before.  Rubberband and cave time is good for him and the relationship.
  3. Take care of yourself. Remember what I wrote before?  Confidence is a woman's inner goddess - hang with the girls, do girls' trips or girls' night out, spa days, read a book, chick flicks, ... 
Rope Theory:
Now rope theory - I had never heard of this before until I overheard the crew of colleagues I work with in my day job as a happy-go-lucky IT consultant.  It's always so interesting to hear this stuff from the man's point of view.  Background - my IT consulting colleagues are generally men.  No surprise there - IT, high tech, men.  My particular company, group of IT consulting colleagues are good men.  Good people - very important to me.  In general, my colleagues are happily married devoted family men - so when I heard them chuckling away at this rope theory, my ears perked up and away I went asking them questions about it whenever I got a chance.

Rope theory: when in a relationship, men have to remember to "pull the relationship rope".  Rein the rope in.  I heard this and I went, "WHAT, FOR SERIOUS!?"  Wait, what do you mean?  So you've heard me say it before many times, man must treasure his woman, woman must respect her man, - this totally goes along with that idea.  I realized that until very recently, I've been looking at the relationship bus all wrong.  The bus driver is not the man, it's the woman.  The navigator is not the woman, it's the man.  Net - the man has to give his woman a lot of rope, to say what she wants to say, to be who she is, do what she wants to do; and if she starts driving the bus off the prescribed path, the man's gotta pull the rope in and get the bus back on track.  (Of course, all this in an appropriate manner and respectfully.) 

An example one colleague gave me was one where he described his very extroverted wife who loves to pack their social calendar.  He's a very introverted guy and doesn't enjoy the social events as much.  The events become draining - and home duties start piling up when the couple is out often.  He reigns the rope in and says something to the effect of, let's take it more easy this weekend and take care of our home... what do you think? 

There's a bit of truths in these theories.  I'm liking these.  More to ponder...

~Arry

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

coolest wedding proposal

Check it out.  This is seriously one of the coolest proposals I've seen.  Amazing.

This long exposure, and the making of footage, were shot over three nights in Raleigh, North Carolina as a proposal to Emily Kern.  The words "Emily, will you marry me?" Were spelled out in light writing. The final image is made up of approximately 800 individual 10 second exposures.

Light Writing Proposal from Derick Childress on Vimeo.


(Courtesy of Guy Kawasaki's tweet last night)

~Arry

Monday, March 15, 2010

eight habits of happy couples

Read an article somewhere in the past few months and thought I'd share my own list with "tidbits" here and there based on my own experiences/research.

The most successful couples 1) make an active commitment every day to their partner, it's a choice you make and then don't screw it up; 2) are in tune with their partner - this requires a strong commitment to communicate (and this doesn't always have to be verbally) and 3) have strong respect for the other as a good person (they share the same values/vision for the future).  I'm going to repeat this again afterwards.

1. Say "I love you" and "Have a good day": Show your partner that you have good intentions for your love and for their well being.
2. Walk hand-in-hand/side-by-side: This is a must.  It shows you like being together, that you are "equals".  You and your love move at your own pace - the world is your playground.
3. Go to bed at the same time: Remember the early days when you couldn't wait to be in bed together? This is prime "connecting" time for you and your partner.
3a. Say "Good night" every night, no matter what: Actively commit once a day - show through your actions that you are choosing to be committed to your loved one every day.
4. Common+Uncommon interests: Have both common interests/hobbies and those you do on your own. Both are important to maintain balance in the relationship. (Don't try and always outperform your partner either).
5. Make trust/forgiveness your default mode: Focus more on what your partner does right: Believe in their good intentions and take a leap of faith and trust them sometimes.  You should have already screened your partner for integrity, trustworthiness, strong values before committing to them.
6. Hug each other as soon as you see each other after work: Human touch is very important - human beings are social beings. Hugs and touch relax and comfort - and studies have also shown that couples that hug/kiss more, have stronger immune systems. I call it "belly love".
7. Do a "weather" check during the day: it'll help you be in sync/in tune with each other.  When you can, ask your partner how their day is going.  Some people don't want to be disturbed at work - so do this as appropriate.
8. Be proud to be seen with your partner: because you belong together!  ^_^

These are habits. With the right partner, these should come automatically - or you should really want to make them habits with that partner and consistently do them to make them habits (21 days straight to make a habit, right?).

Again, the most successful couples 1) make an active commitment every day to their partner, it's a choice you make and then don't screw it up; 2) are in tune with their partner - this requires a strong commitment to communicate (and this doesn't always have to be verbally) and 3) have strong respect for the other as a good person (share the same values/vision for the future).

I've been mulling over my next posting lately: about the rubberband theory and the rope theory.  More to come.

~Arry

dorks unite (or inspirational entrepreneurship video)

This made me laugh.  Oh, times have indeed changed if we are seeing rap videos about geeks (even if it is a spoof).

Thursday, March 4, 2010

photography dreams and going for it

Today is my dear friend Katya's very first art show - she got into photography awhile back and decided that she was going to go all in with this hobby and make it a dream: dreams of sharing her passion in galleries across the country... hell, the world~ with others! It's fantastic. She's been working so hard for it - taking night classes, framing them, etc...

Katya. Here's a woman who has a serious heart of gold. I've grown to admire, respect and value her smarts, her cutes, her zeal for bringing smiles to the world. I met her when I hit a tragic bump in my life several years back. Never met her before - and here she comes into my life an angel giving me a ride home, helping to take care of my baby Mochi, calling me to see how I'm doing, listening to my heartaches and joys, ... and being so empathetic and understanding (and nonjudgemental). See? The most wonderful people enter your life when you least expect it - and those friends that stick around despite the bumps we hit in life - they are to be treasured.
Today, I'll be at your art show gazing thoughtfully at your photos. I'm honored and so lucky to have you as my friend. Heart!

Here are links to Katya's sites:

~Arry

Monday, March 1, 2010

unconditional love, it's a warm fuzzy thing & totally worth it


Seriously... when I got Mochi (on the right) back in July 2005, I had no idea how much this bundle of fuzz would change my life. She shed, she cried, she needed to be walked every two hours, she was afraid of heights, she's always been a super picky eater, she snores, she lets out some majorly stinky farts, ... she chewed up my favorite pair of blue glasses, a pair of beaded heels, my antique sofa (which I got re-upholstered by hand), ... we've had nights in the emergency room to boot where I was worried sick.

This fuzzy baby of mine is like a daughter. She crept into my heart and changed the way I understand life and love forever. Dust, hairballs, mess... whatever. Mud in the car from her muddy paws after playing outside in the park... it's ok. Come home to a bundle of joy and happiness that loves you unconditionally... it means the world to me. I love to see her smile and wag her tail. She even does a booty shake when she's super excited.

She doesn't care if I'm having a bad hair day, if I smell of stress and work, if I'm feeling fat, or if I am cranky because I hadn't eaten all day. She loves me for me. Shouldn't all love be like that? I want love like that with my future husband. Playful love. Accepting. Understanding. Loyal.

~Arry