welcome to our new teammate, AJ!

Mina and I would like to welcome the newest member to our All Things Wishful team - AJ!  AJ is a super-cool-awesome-ninja who has run his own consulting technology business for the past several years and is the Flash master.  He's got jedi skills - mad skillz.  :)  He's also quite the foodie as he's introduced us to some delicious team lunches.  AJ will be contributing to the All Things Wishful blog writing about the world of cool technologies. 

We are so excited to have AJ join the team.

Yippee,

Arry and Mina

controlled growth

One of the greatest perks of my day job is that I get to meet all kinds of entrepreneurs, investors and VCs in the Seattle community.  Many of these meetings lead to "Aha" moments where I furiously write mental notes regarding what to do or avoid doing in a business.  A recent meeting I had was with a woman entrepreneur who instantly became my hero because not only did she grow the revenues of her business by 50 times in 10 years (from $500,000 when she bought half of the company for $15,000 to $20,000,000 now), she did all of this while working part-time (so she could spend time with her family).  How cool is that?

Her secret?  Controlled growth.  As she showed us the graph of the revenues of her companies, rather than the hockey stick that all entrepreneurs seem to hope for, hers was more like a very deep staircase -- upward movement followed by a period of flatness, followed by upward movement.  The periods of flatness are the times that she deliberately did not take new customers so that she could focus on making improvements in operations and in building up her cash supply (yes, she agrees that cash is king).  As a B2B business serving large corporate clients, part of her controlled growth strategy was to diversify her portfolio of clients so that no one business would become an 800-pound gorilla with the power the make demands that are not in line with what is best for the company.

One company that comes to mind when considering what can happen when a company grows too fast is homegrocer.com, the enormously well capitalized company from the 1990s that is now used as an example of a most spectacular failure in every business school.  OK, so homegrocer might have had a few other things going against it, but trying to grow too fast -- before it had figured out how it is going to operate, who its customers are, and the checks and balances of financial statements -- was definitely a major factor.

So grow, but be smart about it.

Mina

woman quits her job to take break and find a husband

Perspective, perspective, perspective.  Again... the question comes to: are you a career woman or a woman-with-a-career?  What are your priorities?  If you have to make choices - what is more important to you?  Can you be a career woman AND have it all?  Do you want children and a family?  What do you think? Do women need a man? Is Julia Yarbough crazy? Did she wait too long to try to find a husband? Is this her due "punishment" for putting career first?

We hope the best for you, Julia - We hope you are doing well and think it's great to take the time to take care of yourself.  Personally I don't believe in chasing men - but taking the approach in taking a breather, giving yourself space to be introspective - and giving a good man the opportunity to come into your life and find you - that works.  (The full story, here.)

~Arry

[2b] why are you doing all this, part ii

As I was giving my schpeel a couple days ago to this great community organization that helps at-risk youth, Community for Youth (http://www.communityforyouth.org/) by providing dedicated adult mentors to the kids - another reason came up that I wanted to share.

2b. We're less connected than before [continuation of 'Connecting Hearts' from my April 11, 2010 post]
With all the tools we have out there to connect us more: pda's, cell phones, text messaging, emailing devices, twitter, facebook, myspace... and the amount of time we spend physically alone in our individual cars, apartments, and cubicles...  we're less connected than we were 50 years ago, 100 years ago.  Human beings are social beings - we were meant to talk face-to-face, to touch and hug, to be social.  Now with all this technology - I can work anytime, any where... all the time.  Even now... past midnight, I'm sitting here writting on a blogger...

I'm tired.  Tomorrow I'll get up, check my email in the morning.  Walk my darling fuzzy dog, Mochi in the morning.  Play a few rounds of fetch.  Feed her.  Hug her.  Love her. Get in my car and drive my self to work where I'll set up camp at a contractor's station and sit behind a laptop all day long at my client site.  I'll have a couple meetings here and there.  I'll drive my self back home.  I'll walk my dog again.  Play more rounds of fetch with her.  Feed her.  Hug her.  Love her.  Get behind the computer again...  I'm still tired.  I'll text and facebook friends inbetween in an attempt to share some love.  It's just not the same as a real live in-person meaningful hug.  It just isn't.

So that's another reason for you.  Real hugs are better than virtual ones.  Wish my fuzzy dog would wake up and give me a damn hug right now...

Good night,
Arry

[3] ... ever have someone say to you, you're too nice?

Ever have someone tell you you're too nice to them? It doesn't matter if you were being "too nice" to a boy, to a girl, to a man, to a woman, to a friend.  Ever have someone say they don't deserve your love?  Has it happened to you? 

If so - run.  Run far away in the opposite direction of the person that just said it.  If it's happened to you recently, ...  run!  That's a big [big, big] red flag - and it usually means, that recipient of your niceness and love doesn't deserve it.  A girlfriend whom I met on the eve of 2007 told me this one time as we were sitting on the floor of my living room chit-chatting away about life and love.  She said, "You know what I dislike the most, Arry?  I really dislike it when someone says You're too nice."  ...  and her words hit me hard.  It was like someone took a gong and slammed my heart against it.  I used to hear those words often.  You're too nice.  What in the word - I'm too nice!?!?!???  Why can't a person just be kind, nice, loving just because?  Ah... well, experience...

Because the undeserving person will take advantage of you.  I heard these words again in the past year - and against my better judgement I stuck around a little way too long.  It means I have to be careful of who I spend my time with, with whom I open my heart to and allow in, ...  but the idealistic romantic in me wishes I didn't have to be so careful... and that the deserving one will appreciate my gifts to them.

What do you think?

Good night,

Arry

... dorky ipad marriage proposal

Congratulations, Zach...  on your engagement.  Read full TechCrunch story here.

[2] arry, ... why are you doing this?...

That seems to be the theme question of the week, "Arry, why.... why are you doing all this?"  Why... why... it's ingrained in my blood. I want to change the world - make it a better place for everyone.  I want hearts to feel, intentions to be good, good people to meet other good people, ...   Isn't it everyone's reason for doing what they do?  I'm literally sitting here after a three hour brainstorming and planning session for my next big event that's coming up this summer...  I am so so so excited to put this event together.  A lot of my close friends are worried - because I'm putting a big chunk of skin in the game for this...  But really, why?  I don't know... or maybe I do.  It seems like a fun thing to do...  Well, why comes down to these three core values:

1. Selfless Service:
At an early age, my mother had me playing the piano and violin for the elderly and church every weekend.  Sometimes I wanted to sleep, go out and play instead...  She said if you've got a gift, it's your duty to share it with others.  And really, being able to touch the hearts of the forgotten elderly left in nursing homes ... that was a gift all in its own.  I get a high when I meet hearts-of-gold.  I'm touched to the core when I see selfless acts of love like a father spending time with his child and when a person gives "just because". 

2. Connecting Hearts:
Here's a memory I can share with you.  In college, I became really excited about the cause around multicultural-diversity and acceptance.  There was one evening where I was being a bookworm at our local Barnes and Noble when I was home in upstate NY for the Christmas holidays - and I heard this really cool folksy-hip chick (who was from Seattle!!!) playing the guitar singing in the cafe.  I thought... wow: MUSIC... music is a common language that everyone understands.  ...  I found a way to raise money through the Cornell Student Affairs office and  Office of Minority Affairs to bring the Seattle folk chick to Ithaca- and put on a concert for all the students.  The concert provided a forum for people from all walks of life, of different colors and cultures, to sit together, listen to music and share the experience.  The event didn't make any money.  Anyways... Music is one of my first loves...  it's the language of the heart.  I saw it work then in connecting hearts... and I hope to see it work again this June...

3. Servant Leadership:
At the end of it all, it's about servant leadership - where giving is from the heart, and not about the ego.  Leading in a way that makes human sense for the greater good.  For those that are also engaged with community and nonprofits, you know that to really give back, you have to walk into that community/nonprofit with an open heart and mind; the ego is nowhere to be seen, the badges/diplomas/age/gender/...  all those ego-related "things" have to be left behind when you enter the world of Giving.  I heard a slightly funny story about an extremely intelligent, smart, wildly successful man who walked into a community organization with the intention of volunteering and giving back.  The intent was good - points there.  He was assigned the lowly position of filing papers for his first "project" - and he was shocked.  He couldn't do it.  In the world of giving, you have to think with human-sense - you have to get to know the organization, the people and earn the right/trust of the people.  Ego has no place in giving.

Reminds me of what my mom said a bunch of times to me growing up that you may have heard me say - and it really rang a bell in my heart.  Arry... no matter how rich you may be, how smart you are, how successful...  it'll never bring you love/peace if you have neighbors that are suffering.  (Of course, she said this in Korean... but you get the gist).  ... 

And hey... isn't this what love is about?  Love is selfless, accepting, and giving. 

Hugs,
Arry

[1]... we all want to love, to be loved, right?

I had two conversations on the topic of love today (what a surprise) that left some marks on my heart.  My day is over and I'm feeling a little somber, tired...  ... just tired.  Why are we so cynical when it comes to love?  Why do we make it so hard for each other?

Couple snapshots from the conversations:

1. Man has to be honorable, respectable, respectful (on the inside!) for a woman to respectfully follow him.  It's not about the money, the car... work on your "insides" too.  My friend and I talked about how as a society, we've hit "gender neutrality" = wimpy men, alpha women.  I swear by this, and I'll repeat it over and over again - Man must treasure his woman, woman must respect her man.  We've lost that precious balance between man and woman.  Step it up and own it (men).  Relax, let go, it's ok to be feminine (women).
2. Come on girls... if you're living with him, over the age of 25, and it's been years... walk away.  He doesn't know or is too damn wimpy to end it himself.  When you talk to a guy and he's contemplating proposing to his girlfriend - and he's not-so-excited, thinking about waiting it out a little longer to see if there's something wrong with her, ...  I just don't know.  The romantic in me is crying, screaming for mercy.  I'm sad...  I hope he lets go of his fear and takes a leap.  Love has to be fearless sometimes.
3. There's hope in this world when our family friend who is the most determined to never get married finally says something like, "I think I've found a girl I want to be with - and no one else".  Who hooo!!!  Love is so much better that way - meaningful, committed, ... intentional love. 

Good night,
Arry

who's got dice?

I consider myself a novice in the world of blogging, and as you can see, learning as I go.  We have learned to keep the posts under 500 words, put up more pictures, use bullets and lists as much as possible, etc...

Lately the feedback from everyone has been put more of myself out there.  More?  Really, more?  I felt like I was putting so much of myself out there already.  Huh, how!?  Okay.  Okay...  okay...  I'll try it. It's not easy, throwing my raw thoughts onto the big world wide web for anyone out there to read.  I even thought about starting a new blog or pretending we have a guest blogger ...  obviously, we've gone with plan A - Arry writing it as herself and putting it out there.  Nervous.

I will commit to 10 posts with real stories about what's going on - not just the things that are going on in my head - but real life stories.  If I stray from my usual themes of love and relationships, forgive me.  Whatever the case may be, I will do my best.  (I'm feeling really nervous... so please, leave comments.  You don't have to agree or support, only leave your true thoughts.  It makes this blogging adventure more fun for me.).  Will have to think of a funny title to go along with it.

I'll start tomorrow...  this is my post for today.

Night night,

Arry

do You still love me?

I hit a funny point in my life recently (past 6 months) where it seems like everything is suddenly making sense.  Things were suddenly becoming clear.  Funny how experiencing challenges in life helps you grow the most.  I have an idea of what I'm looking for, what I'm not.  The "fortune cookie" like sayings that I thought were my original thoughts...  not so original (someone's already thought of them, been saying them, been preaching them I've very recently learned). 

Humbling.

Past 6 months, I've also realized, "No Way Jose", my future husband's definitely gotta be Christian.  Enough with being the free-spirited-Arry-equal-opportunity blah-blah-blah - it ain't working.  I'm not equal opportunity.  No.  The values are all so very different (that's what I mean when I say my thoughts not-so-original.  Turns out, they are very Biblical.  My values are Christian - and it's taken me this long to put two and two together).  I began poking at friends' to see if they go to church, what church they go to, what they say about their church and their feelings about it...  and that says a lot about whether or not I want to take the time to go there. 

Last year, the search in finding my return path back to God began (especially recently, with the motivation of a very nice person).  My heart is there, it's been there for some time... but the brain has a little more thinking to do today.  "In the search for God, you revert from what attracts you and swim towards which is difficult.  You abandon your comforting and familiar habits with the hope... that something greater [is up there. Taking the leap of faith.] 

I just want God.  I want God inside me.  I want God to play in my bloodstream the way sunlight amuses itself on water" (E. Gilbert).  I want to be that shining light I wrote about in all of my college applications a dozen years ago. 

Hello, again.  Do You still love me?  Will You take me back?

~Arry

time to start listening.

I'm feeling bombarded with sounds lately... my senses feeling overwhelmed.  I'm sensitive to unnatural bright LED and florescent lights, the annoyance of my phones ringing and pinging, my computer, the tv, music being played too loudly, ...  It's too much.

We're bombarded all day long, all night long these days - how does anyone find the down-time (and I mean TRUE down-time where one can be at peace with oneself, with nature, with God)?  It takes way too much effort - more effort than it should to find silence (silence from all of the unnatural man made sounds of machinery and technology).  This is taking way too much effort.

"The resting place of the mind is the heart... and the only place the mind will ever find peace is inside the silence of the heart".  Silence.  Meditation.  Prayer.  Time for a timeout.  Time to start really listening.

~Arry

how many different jobs have you had?

On the plane ride back from New York City, I started reminiscing - thinking about the journey I've had so far and all the different hats I've worn in my short life.  Turns out, it's pretty interesting.  List of all the different jobs I've had and gotten paid for (and not in any particular order):

1. Event/Experience/Party/Fundraising Planner
2. Piano Teacher
3. Privately Commissioned Artist (paintings/mixed media)
4. Business Analyst/Sales Operations (Microsoft)
5. Business Manager (Microsoft)
6. Diversity Coordinator (Microsoft)
7. Resident Teaching Assistant (Cornell and RPI)
8. Baby-Sitting
9. Day Care Assistant
10. Candy Store Cashier (Candy Express)
11. Ice Cream Cake Store (Carvel Ice Cream)
12. Actuary (Guy Carpenter Instrat)
13. Associate Publisher (A. Magazine, NY)
14. Business Banking Training Associate (WaMu)
15. Legal Assistant (Peng & Weber)
16. Bartender (Hilton)
17. Waitress (College Cafe, Plum Tree, Shilla)
18. Campus Community Organizer (Cornell Diversity Student Affairs)
19. Church Pianist
20. Consultant (Hitachi, KPMG, Pariveda Solutions)
21. Business Case/ Business Plan Writer (freelance)
22. Entrepreneur/Startup (2 startups so far: 1 no-go, 1 pending)

Wow.

~Arry

mentioned in a yelp article today

How cool is this?  March 31 my dear friend Peter D. called me excitedly saying he saw my name in a newsletter.  Says we must go out for dinner tonight: me, him, his friend, his wifey, my brother.  Celebrate the small "wins" in life, huh?  Low and behold... he wasn't making it up!  (See picture, second paragraph).

I owe you an update on the world of Yelp Elite.  Coming soon...

But for now, I sleep.
Good night,

~Arry